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Asian Women - Age Difference Explained

As you search for women on AsianZet.com you will find some who are very attractive and smart but significantly younger than you – and you may find you’re interested in getting to know them better. Many people believe age is just a number; others have doubts about long-term success in a relationship with a much younger woman. You’ll find yourself wondering: Is there an optimal age difference? Could we live a long and happy life together in spite of our age difference? Will a younger wife remain faithful? What will family and friends have to say about our relationship? Can this work at all?

Statistics show that most people end up with a partner close to their age – three to five years on either side tends to be the norm. Still, it’s not uncommon to see couples who are 10, 15 or more years apart in age.

When there is a large age gap, a couple often has differences in modes of communication, interests and lifestyle. Sociologists and psychologists say a couple should feel comfortable with the age difference and be compatible enough to be able to satisfy and complete each other in a positive way and bring out the best in each other. It might be possible to find a 20-year old with the maturity level of a 30-year old due to life experience, outlook, goals and culture, but this is rare. If you do enter into a relationship with a woman 20+ years younger, be sure you understand the potential pitfalls. The most important elements of a happy long-term relationship are a similar outlook, respect and mutual caring.

Do not assume that all Asian women prefer older men. In Asian countries the age difference between spouses is in the range of 5 to 10 years, and in some countries parent-arranged marriages are common.

As in most countries around the globe, Asians are marrying later and many not at all. In fact, Asia leads the world in the trend of rising marriage ages and today Asians marry even later than Westerners. In the richest countries – Japan, Taiwan, South Korea, Hong Kong – the mean age of marriage is now 29-30 for women and 31-33 for men. It’s safe to assume that this corresponds to higher rates of education.

Nearly 30% of Japanese women in their early 30s and over 20% of Taiwanese women in their late 30s are single. And in Bangkok, 20% of women aged 40 to 44 are not married. Only China and India have thus far bucked the trend, but experts think it’s only a matter of time before economic and other factors will drive the same change in these countries as well.

Some Thai, Philippine and Bangladeshi women may prefer much older men. The main age difference between husbands and wives is much wider in South Asia than in East and Southeast Asia. The wider age gap in South Asian countries reflects the prevalence of parent-arranged marriages and patriarchal family structures. The motivation for selecting an older man for a daughter is the perception that his maturity and financial stability are better suited to assuming responsibility for a family. Some Chinese woman may be comfortable with a man as much as 30 years older, but it is not the norm. And in Japan, South Korea and Singapore very few women under age 40 would consider a husband 20 or 30 years older.

If you do find yourself in a relationship with a big age difference, finding common ground is a good way to counter its potential negative effects. Shared interests and hobbies can help keep the relationship exciting and fresh. Also, be clear about life goals up front. A younger woman will likely want to have children. If you are 20 or 30 years older, will you be willing? Be sure you understand each other’s life goals before you make it official.

Another consideration is the potential loss of family support. Cultural, social and religious norms might cause some families to feel that a big age difference is too great an obstacle and may disown you or her. Hopefully the love between you will be strong enough to withstand being cut off from the family support system if it comes to that.

Worldwide, the general consensus is that an age gap of +/-10 years is about the limit if you want to maximize your chances for a happy, loving relationship, although there are countries and cultures that are exceptions to this.

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